Guy Friend... I don't know what to say. He kind of blew me off this weekend. (I guess you're right Mark) At least we weren't dating. But for him to blow me off when he wants to date me seems to me a sign that we shouldn't date. And just when I was thinking he might be different and that we might could casually start dating. I figured he would be different b/c he has watched the way other guys had treated me. He didn't like it. I figured he would know better, especially since he told me he liked me and wanted to date me. When John and I were dating, last summer, he saw John ignore me and not ever make plans with me. I broke up with John. He watched Zac ignore me for two days; then I gave up and went to Zac's house to get my stuff. He should know better.
Last week we talked about hanging out this weekend. Friday night he ignored my texts. I figured he would at least respond Saturday, unless he was at work. Come to find out he didn't have to work and hung out with his friends all day. Said he would call me after frisbee golf. Three hours later he asks what we should do. I suggest going to the bar with his friends. He was hanging out with a couple. The four of us actually all hung out last weekend. He said they wanted to go swimming. I told him I didn't have a swimsuit. He said he would call me after swimming and we can hang out.
Then I got drunk.
I drunk texted him- 'am i gonna see you tonite b.c i am drunk and think we should make out.'
he told me he was going home and maybe tomorrow. I said Maybe. Then he asked if I was mad at him and of course I told him that I wasn't, that I was just drunk. By this time I was at a party with some girlfriends. We continued to text eachother for awhile. This was normal texting like we always do. Like we are best friends. Which we are. A little confused after all this. I would have been excited if the guy I liked drunk texted me to make out.
He didn't call Sunday, when he said we would hang out. I didn't talk to him Sunday or Monday. Decided to text him today. Asking him how was work and stuff. He responded. When I asked when we gonna hang out he stopped texting. I left him alone.
Either I am crazy and paranoid or he has changed his mind. Probably both. My friends are telling me to chill out. The thing is is that this is why I am always single. This is why I don't date. I hate this whole 'is he gonna call?', 'am I supposed to call?', 'why doesnt he want to see me?' I can't stand this whole thing. It all feels like game play or something. This is when I give up and continue being single. This all makes me so crazy. Maybe with the right guy I won't feel this way.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
It looks like this guy has got you doing all the running. He massages your ego by putting John down, telling you how he wants to date you and stuff... and then drops you like 3rd year French.
ReplyDeleteKick his ass to the curb and move on. Whatever you do, don't call / text him. Especially not offering up a drunken booty call!!!
When he texts you, be polite but formal. Do not be short or rude, because then he'll know he's got to you.
Either fire the guy, or make him walk over hot coals before you get back to the "will I / won't I let him shag me?" stage.
Thanks for the advice Mark. I don't plan on contacting him. If he talks to me then I'll talk back.
ReplyDeleteI just don't understand why guys do this? And they all do it. All the guys I have been with are like this. They talk about liking you, but they don't act like it. I just don't get it.
But of course this is not the end, because we are friends and he will eventually call me to hang out.
Oh and what is this if you're rude then he knows he's got you. He's got me what? I don't get it. He wants me to be rude.
ReplyDeleteWhat I mean is, if you are rude to him or show any signs that you're not happy - then he knows he has "got to you" - ie, that you are bothered by his actions.
ReplyDeleteDon't give him the satisfaction of knowing that he can pick you up and put you down when he feels like it.
Oh, and if he treats you like that then he's not a very good friend, never mind shagpiece / boyfriend :-)
Reading your post reminded me all over again about what I went through with my ex boyfriend. We happily dated for 2 months and then we did the above for 9 months before I finally said enough is enough.
ReplyDeleteSome lessons I've learned as a single girl over the years:
If a man wants to call you, he will
If a man wants to hang out with you, he will
If a man wants to return your text, he will
Are you seeing the pattern here? Basically, it is rare that some extenuating circumstance came up preventing him from doing those 3 things that drive you crazy which means he's doing it on purpose. He will not change so you need to save yourself some anxious, crazy nights and move on!
It will be difficult-- I broke up with my ex in January and then at the end of April, he showed up at my door, told me how much he missed me and we slept together. Then, the next day, he sent me an email telling me that he made a mistake last night and that he just started seeing someone and wants to give it a shot with the girl. A couple weeks later, he texted me asking me if I was out. By this point, of course, I had decided to cut off all contact with him after he made me feel like a fool for letting him in my door and my bed for the last time.
I just started following your blog, so I don't know you very well nor the boy in question, but I do know what I've experienced and you should never want to change someone. When the desire to see someone and be with someone goes away all of a sudden, there's virtually nothing you can do to get it back despite your countless efforts.
Good luck!! I hope you can get through this.
Here's the deal.
ReplyDeleteMark is right and Lindsey is right. Do we need to read "He's Just Not That Into You" again?
This guy is a piece of work! Personally, I'd like to kick his teeth in, but we have to do the classy thing here (because you're so better than him) and rise above. Don't give him the time of day. He is NOT a good friend if he's pulling this crap. You should not put up with this for a minute! Don't text him first, don't contact him. If he asks you if there's a problem, inform him that yes, there is. Likely he doesn't care or he won't be doing this to begin with, but if he does and is just having weird boy drama issues, then he needs to know.
Not all guys are like that. HOWEVER... I think every girl has to go through this at a point. We have to question why we're attracting a certain type of guy. Sometimes there's nothing wrong with us that's actually attracting them, BUT it could be that we are just making poor choices. I've been there, honey. Sometimes we have to reach outside of the methods we normally meet guys. Hell, even if it means Match.com! I could go on about this forever... but we women have to DEMAND that a guy treat us worthy of who we are!
It will get better. :) Just toss these two losers to the wind! Seriously. They're not worthy to be in your life.
The only point I differ from Pursuit on is letting him know there is a problem. If he hasn't figured it out by now, then telling him isn't gonna change a thing.
ReplyDeleteEffective communication only works in a relationship, and you don't have that.
And like I said, I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing that he's been a pain in the arse.
I still don't understand why he wants me to be bothered by his actions
ReplyDeleteYes, I have read, He's just not that into you. I should know better. I just think that maybe no guy is into me. This always happens. Even with the guys that say that they are into me.
Don't worry. I don't want to have the why you are upsetting me talk with a guy I am not even dating. He has asked me once if I was mad at him and I denied it. You would think he would see what he is doing, especially if he has to ask.
It is all just so frustrating.
Oh LSG, *hugs*. I am sure there are guys into you. Sometimes we all feel that way. Obviously, guys ARE into you, even if they take the time to do the crap they're doing, so don't think that. We just have to demand higher standards and so so so few guys are willing to meet them! If you just need an ego boost, go on Match.com or Plenty of Fish or something. :P It will give you an ego boost. Promise.
ReplyDeleteThanks Pursuit. And I don't think I'll be checking out match.com.
ReplyDeleteUpdate: He is at work. I am at work. He just texted me asking when to i wanted to hangout. I told him I didn't know and he said okay. I asked ahim if work was busy and he said it wasn't. That's about it.
LSG you can do so much better. You deserve a guy that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated!
ReplyDeletehey LSG...I've linked you on my new blog:
ReplyDeletehttp://thelasthappysinglegirl.blogspot.com
Love the insights. :)
thank u happsgirl. I'll head on over to yours and begin reading.
ReplyDelete