A MOH Speech

Sorry I have not posted in like a week. I really don't know why. I may not have been writing, but I have been reading.

A girl a work, who I have become friends with, is the Maid of Honor for her friend's wedding on Saturday. All day at work she was trying to come up with a speech for the reception. She was having no luck at all. She started looking up MOH speeches on the internet. She is the receptionist and everytime I would walk by she would read me another speech. They were all awful. I told her she was not allowed to read any of them. Then she told me to write a speech for her. I was like are you kidding. Any speech I wrote would begin by asking if they signed a pre-nup then move on to whether on not marriage was a good idea. So, yea, I'm the office cynic. She really wanted to see what I could do so I went home and ended up writing her a speech.

Now I wouldn't say I am that great of a writer or anything. Writing papers was the hardest part of college for me. I was just laying there and this simple little speech came to me so I wrote it down. Work Friend really liked it and said she would use it and thought it was awesome. Here is what I wrote...

" The idea of having to write this speech and recite it in front of a room of people kind of freaked me out. I don’t think I am that clever with advice, and I am probably not that funny when it comes to jokes. I could probably to a good job of being cheesy, however.

I tried googling Maid of Honor speeches to try and get some ideas. You know, just to get the brain in the wedding speech kind of mode. It wasn’t helpful though. Nothing came close to what I wanted to say about Bride and Groom.

So I finally just say down and wrote. This is what I came up with. Please don’t laugh.

First I would like to thank Bride for allowing me the privilege of being her Maid of honor. It really is an honor. I would probably do anything for her.

When I think of Bride I think of (three things about her). When I think of Groom I think of (three things about him). But when they are together I think of (three things about them as a couple).

Bride and Groom, really are a wonderful couple. Seeing the two of them together is proof that the greatest gift from God is love. Even those who not have experienced this type of love can look at Bride and Groom and know that there is something extra special between him. I see it. I can’t not see it.

Everyone deserves to find a love like this.

(now look at couple) A love that is dependable, true, and righteous. I pray that God will continue to flourish in your lives. And I hope others can look to you both as an example of true love."

The End. Hope you enjoyed it.
Always- LSG

Being Single= Against Status Quo??

When will we learn to love ourselves? When will we be comfortable being alone? When will the world and life stop focusing on being in a couple?

I don't understand why everything and everyone in this life is focused on finding the one and being in a couple, even if he is not the one. I was watching television and this girl is going on about how she isn't with anyone and is still spending her life trying to find that one person. Why should the purposed or goal of one's life be trying to find someone else to complete them.

Growing up we are taught how life "should" be. That we graduate high school. Then go to college. Maybe we finish or maybe we don't, but that is the time when we are supposed to find our other half. Then marriage and then children. Then our lives will be complete and we can finally be happy. Why do our lives have to fit into some formula created by the status quo?

I don't want to focus the best years of my life on trying to find some other person that is supposedly going to complete me. It's hard though. I don't fit into the status quo. I graduated college. I am now going to law school. My goal is to then start practice at my father's law firm. Maybe one day even be a partner with him. I hope to buy a house, on my own, without the help of a man. If a man comes into my life at any point then it will be fine. I just don't want to focus my life on trying to find a man.

My life is about me. No one can complete me. Only I can complete myself. No man can complete me. He may enhance my life, but I don't think he should make or break my life and my happiness. Most women my age are trying to get married and have children. But that is not my path. I want to have a career. I want to be successful. I have chosen a different path than the average 20-something woman.

But the world is still telling me that I should be focusing on finding a man. Family, friends, media, etc. is all saying that the goal of life is to be happily married with children. Why are we listening to this and why are we teaching the younger genreations this? Shouldn't the status quo be finding happiness with one's self and not with one's partner? I can't change the world. All I can try to do is live in it with my ideas on life and try to succeed.

Always- LSG

RANT

I never heard from Crush after our nite of making out. While I figured I wouldn't hear from him, because most guys are full of shit when they say they like you and will call you, I was still hopeful.

Sara did give me some insider information the other day though. Her husband was hanging out with Crush. That nite I was with Crush, there was this other guy, CT, who also spent the whole nite hitting on me. So Sara's husband says to Crush- ' I hear you and CT were both hitting on LSG the other nite.' Crush responds- ' Well it looks like I won.'

While I should just move on and brush this off it really got to me. I have never really felt like an object before. I totally feel like I was just a prize for the two of them to fight over. I was just something to win. But how did Crush win really? I didn't have sex with him. We just made out. I don't think that is anything for him to go around bragging about, unless he is telling the guys that he did have sex with me. That's just not cool.

I just don't get it. It is the same thing over and over again with every guy. Crush said he liked me. He said he had been digging me for awhile, even while he was with T. He said we had to hang out again and that he wanted to make plans for the weekend. Now I know he was full of shit. it was all a line. But why conitnue with the stupid I like you game to get a girl into bed when I made it clear that I was not going to sleep with im that night.

I just wish guys would be straight up. Okay, I understand that men may be too afraid to say I don't like you but you don't have to say things that you are afraid to say or that you think will hurt us. Although if you say I don't like you, that's okay. I am a big girl, I can handle it. Plus I would rather hear that then hear that you do like me and sit around hoping you call and you never do. How about men just learn to say nothing. Don't say I like you if you don't mean it. Don't say you want to hang out again if you don't mean it. Don't say that you will call me if you don't mean it. Don't give me any reason to expect a call from you when you know you will never call me. I want the truth not some game. Or how about this- Nice to meet you. Have a good nite. or a simple Good Bye and Good Night.

This makes me so angry. Men wonder why girls are psycho and shit. Well we are not psycho. You just send us all the mixed signals. Stop saying you will call and tell us the truth.

And don't objectify us!! (Unless it's in the bedroom and we ask you to.) I am a person. I am not someting for you to win. I can understand chivalry, like trying to win my affection or my heart. But don't try to win me as a game or a prize. I am a woman.

Always- LSG

The Gamer Boy

A couple of years ago, I dated the Gamer Boy. I will tell you right now to watch out for the Gamer Boy. He is the guy that spends all his time playing WoW or surfing the net. He actually plays Facebook Mafia and Myspace Mob Wars. He has a headset with a microphone on it. He often talks about his friends, but actually has never me any of these people in real life. And he is probably overweight and doesn't shower every day. This is the Gamer Boy.

I met Gamer Boy in a class at school, having no idea of his annoying habit. He asked me out and we met a the bar that Friday. I had a lot of fun and we started to date. Soon I realized his obsession. I come to his apt. to go out or something and he would be gaming. He would tell me just 20 minutes, I am grinding or battling or whatever. This became a common theme for our dates. I would meet at his place. Find my spot on the bed. Turn on the TV or open a book and begin to wait. It was very annoying.

Then I got to the point in our relationship where I was ready to sleep with Gamer Boy. Boy, was this a feat. I would get in be and ask him to come with me. He was like no I am playing. I would lay in bed alone, topless, listening to him spout random gamer lingo into his microphone headset. I was not too happy about this. I finally got Gamer Boy to sleep with me one night. And guess what? As soon as we were done he got up and went back to gaming.

Needless to say I soon broke up with him. I mean what man would rather play computer games when there is a naked girl in his bed, who is horny. I will never understand Gamer Boys. So now I try to avoid them.

Always- LSG

Secret Weapon

Every single girl has their secret weapon when they are going out. Maybe it's stilletos, or a push-up bra. Mine is ginger soufflé and Italian perfume.

Origins makes a Ginger Souffle which is my favourite thing to wear to get a guys attention. It is a thick body cream. Ginger, for those of you that don't know, is an aphrodisiac, or so they say. It is even said that Madame DuBerry, mistress to Louis XV, used ginger perfume to seduce him. I usually just use it on my arms, but sometimes on my whole body.

My Italian perfume is none other than Givenchy's Very Irrestible. I have the purple one and the red one. There is also a pink one and a new summer one. It is a very sensual scent. I always get compliments when I wear it.

So I combine the two, Ginger Souffle and Italian Perfume, works like a charm. Will definitely get a man's attention. No, it won't work like a love potion. They won't fall in love with you or ask you to marry them, but it will definitely get their attention. And if you're lucky they might even follow you home.

Always- LSG

Bingo Night

Bingo Night is on Wednesdays at my favourite bar. I try to go as often as possible. Last nite I went with Sara, her husband, my best friend, and some other people from Sara and her husband's group. They are the only ones married in the group.

On my way to the bar I get a text from John asking me what I have been up to. I decide to ignore it. Like an hour later he texts me again asking me if I am mad at him. Now this does make me mad. He ignores my texts all the time and I don't say a thing. I just go on. I ignore his text one time and he thinks I am mad at him. I tell him no, that I am just at the bar.

He asks me what my plans are for the nite. I say bingo.
John- 'did you want to fuck tonight?'
Me- 'i dunno'
John- 'you don't know. what are you on the rag?'
I am thinking this might be a good excuse but say
Me- 'no just not in the mood'
John- 'that's cool if you change your mind or want to some other time'
Me- 'ok'
John- 'my big hard throbbing cock will be waiting for you'
He begins to get desperate and starts saying he will do things he never does.
I don't believe him, but continue to entertain him knowing that I won't be seeing him.

So enough about John. In an old post I talked about hanging out at Sara's and a guy in her group that I have always had a crush on. He was at bingo last night and I sat by him. After bingo we all went back to his house to watch a movie. On the couch he had his arm around me. After one of our many smoke breaks, he grabs my hand, leads me inside, and tells me he is ready for bed. I go to his room with him. We start talking and then he kisses me. We start making out. When he goes to take my shirt off, I tell him that I am not having sex with him.

He wants to have sex, but I tell him that I am not that easy. I won't just give it up on the first nite. I tell him if he wants to have sex with me that he has to work for it. Then I tell him that I like him. If I didn't like him I would have sex with him. I tell him that I have actually have a crush on him for awhile, but he always had a girlfriend. He is like, 'so you've been digging me for awhile. well I have been digging you for awhile.' I am like no you haven't. You were with T. He tells me that even when he was with her that he was digging me. He then asks if the whole T. thing makes me feel weird. I am like no, why would I care. Then he says well I am not with her anymore. I am with you now.

We make out and cuddle all night. It was very nice. He was very respectful. In the morning I ask him if he wants to hang out again. He says 'well we will have to.' He also realizes that we have been sharing the same pillow all nite. He tells me he will have to get another pillow if I am going to be spending the night. When I go to leave he tells me that we will hang out this weekend. Then I realize he never got my number. But I think if he actually likes me then he can get a hold of me. He could get my number from Sara or he could Facebook friend me. My phone number is on my facebook. I am sure I will see him again too because of our mutual friends. I tell myself that if he wants to talk to me then he will. If he wants to see me then he will.

Plus- I have talked to Sara about all this, and she is totally cool with it.

Always- LSG

Now What?

Guy Friend... I don't know what to say. He kind of blew me off this weekend. (I guess you're right Mark) At least we weren't dating. But for him to blow me off when he wants to date me seems to me a sign that we shouldn't date. And just when I was thinking he might be different and that we might could casually start dating. I figured he would be different b/c he has watched the way other guys had treated me. He didn't like it. I figured he would know better, especially since he told me he liked me and wanted to date me. When John and I were dating, last summer, he saw John ignore me and not ever make plans with me. I broke up with John. He watched Zac ignore me for two days; then I gave up and went to Zac's house to get my stuff. He should know better.

Last week we talked about hanging out this weekend. Friday night he ignored my texts. I figured he would at least respond Saturday, unless he was at work. Come to find out he didn't have to work and hung out with his friends all day. Said he would call me after frisbee golf. Three hours later he asks what we should do. I suggest going to the bar with his friends. He was hanging out with a couple. The four of us actually all hung out last weekend. He said they wanted to go swimming. I told him I didn't have a swimsuit. He said he would call me after swimming and we can hang out.

Then I got drunk.

I drunk texted him- 'am i gonna see you tonite b.c i am drunk and think we should make out.'
he told me he was going home and maybe tomorrow. I said Maybe. Then he asked if I was mad at him and of course I told him that I wasn't, that I was just drunk. By this time I was at a party with some girlfriends. We continued to text eachother for awhile. This was normal texting like we always do. Like we are best friends. Which we are. A little confused after all this. I would have been excited if the guy I liked drunk texted me to make out.

He didn't call Sunday, when he said we would hang out. I didn't talk to him Sunday or Monday. Decided to text him today. Asking him how was work and stuff. He responded. When I asked when we gonna hang out he stopped texting. I left him alone.

Either I am crazy and paranoid or he has changed his mind. Probably both. My friends are telling me to chill out. The thing is is that this is why I am always single. This is why I don't date. I hate this whole 'is he gonna call?', 'am I supposed to call?', 'why doesnt he want to see me?' I can't stand this whole thing. It all feels like game play or something. This is when I give up and continue being single. This all makes me so crazy. Maybe with the right guy I won't feel this way.