His Final Apology

I haven't been a very good blogger lately and I apologize for that. I guess I have just felt that my life has been pretty boring here lately. But law school starts in a week and a half so things are bound to get interesting. I have been reading the blogs I follow though.

So you know that I quit talking to John. Reason why are in a previous post. On Saturday I was getting ready to go out and he sent me a Whats been going on text. I ignored it. Like an hour later he sends this:
'I understand if you dont ever want to talk to me again. U just want to tell you that im sorry for the way i treated you. I was an asshole. You were the closest thing i ever had to a long term girlfriend. I was a stupid fuck. I never wanted to hurt you. I just know I miss you and want you in my life'

I responded a couple hours later with a simple- I don't know what to say.
He never replied back. I care but I dont. Reading his text made me a little sad and made me miss him a little, but I dont go back. He has apologized way too many times. If he meant anything he said then we would not be going thru this same cycle over and over again. He is always apologizing for being an ass and he is always saying he misses me. I won't do it again.

The thing is that when I masturbate, I still think of him. I just tell myself it means nothing. It is just a sexual thing. For the past two years he is like the only guy I've had sex with. Of course I am going to be reminded of him. I mean there were a couple of other guys when he and I were off, but mainly I have been with him.

I will forget and move on.

Always- LSG