The Talk

I had a very long talk with Guy Friend last night. It began with him asking me when we were going to go on a date. I was like I don't know. He said, "you think I am kidding, but I am not. I really want to go on a date with you." Then we started to talk about everything.

He thinks John and all the other guys he has seen me with have treated me like crap. He says that I deserve the best and that he wants to be that man. It sounded so sweet. I mean I have always had a little crush on Guy Friend. And apparently he has always felt the same way about me, but didn't want to hurt our friendship.

I brought up all the things that make him, well, not good boyfriend material. We went through every point that I had. He explained to me that he pretty much had a come to Jesus moment a few weeks ago. He wants to get his life in order. He says he has all these plans. He wants to do something with his life. He is working full time and trying to move out of his mom's house again. He says he wants to go back to school too. He wants to lose friends that aren't good for him and move on to bigger and better things. This all sounds great, but I am still skeptical.

I brought up John. He says he doesn't care about John. He says John is one of the friends he needs to move on from.

I do have feelings for Guy Friend. I just need to know if he really means everything he says. Still not going to make any big decisions. We will continue to hang out as friends. And if the time comes that I feel I'm ready then I'll let him know.

Always- LSG

Yay For Being Single.

So I have kind of been reading this book on and off. I say on and off b/c with school it's hard to find time to really read what I want. But school is over and I can read all I want. Anyway, the book is Better Single Than Sorry by Jen Schefft. She was on the the bachelor and turned down the proposal; then she was on the Bachelorette and didn't ask either guy to marry her. It is a really good book about being a single 20-something and not only accepting it, but being proud and happy about it.

She has this list call "50 Reasons Why It's Great to be Single." I liked it and wanted to share a few of them with you.

-You have no responsibilities to anyone else but yourself.

-You shave your legs only when you feel like it.

- The toilet seat is always down.

- You don't have to watch your boyfriend play video games.

- You have the whole bed to yourself.

- Watching whatever you want on TV.

- No one steals the blanket when you're asleep.

- The alarm clock is set for when you need to wake up, and not earlier.

- You can go to events with friends and not worry about your boyfriend fitting in.

- No guys over for the big game.

- The possibility of meeting someone special.

- You no longer "get in trouble."

-That all-consuming lust that you only experience at the beginning of a relationship.

-The only morning breath you have to deal with is your own.

That's only a few from the list, but I hope it made you smile.

Always- LSG

[all credit for 50 Reasons Why it's Great to be Single to Better Single than Sorry by Jen Schefft, copyright 2007 by Jen Schefft.]

Frustrated

It's hard to feel compassion when your best friend finally breaks up with her douchebag boyfriend. It took you a year and a half to kick him to the curb. I would have done it a long time ago. But now she is sad. She says she loves him and what if he's the one. Well if he was the one he wouldn't be such an asshole; at least that's my opinion. She deserves better but I fear she will go back to him so she is not alone. I want to be supportive but it is really hard listening to talk and talk and talk about whether she made the right decision. And every reason I give her for why it was right she has a counter-attack for some stupid thing he did like carry her purse. Yeah, that's why you should date him, because he carries your purse. Forget that he cheated on you and may never amount to anything in life. I feel like a total bitch, but really I have been listening to this for far too long.

How do I be supportive but still state my opinion? How did I be supportive and not go crazy listening to the all the stupids reasons why she loves him?

Always- LSG

FwB Series: 3-past

So the story begins...
I met John over two years ago. It was like February. We met at bar through mutual friends. After the bar a bunch of us went over to one of the guy's house. Once there John and I sat out on the porch talking and smoking. We were talking and he started to basically tell me my own philosophy on religion, which is another post. Not many ppl see religion the way I do so I was amazed, impressed and intrigued. He definately began to reel me in. I could tell he was into me and wanted to go home with me, but at the time I had a boyfriend. He and I soon broke up with in a couple of weeks, for totally different reasons. That's a pretty good story too.

I didn't see him again til the summer. It was at a house party of some guys we both knew. We spent the entire party with eachother....making out. I eventually had to go home and he walked me to my car. He continued to kiss me. He didn't want me to leave or at least he wanted to go home with me. I wouldn't let him. It was still too early. Later that week we hung out together. He did come home with me that night and we did the deed. It was good and I wanted to see him again.

We tried to start dating and hanging out but things just didn't seem to work. He had a problem answering his phone and making plans. I have since learned he hasn't really been in a lot of relationships, especially ones that lasted more than a month or more. I finally got fed up when I called him one night to hang out. He said he would call me later and we would meet up. He called me at like 3 in the morning and was totally fucked up. He just wanted to come over and have sex with me. I was so angry. That's when we stopped seeing eachother the first time.

That fall when we were all hanging out at a friends house he was definately making it clear to me that he wanted me in the bedroom. I was horny too so I said whatever and we went to my apartment. I didn't think it was a big deal. It would be one night and not a big deal I mean we had done it before.

A month later I was out of town at my grandparents' house when I got a text form him that night. It was his birthday and he wanted birthday sex. I told him I was out of town but I would call him when I was back in town. Thus began our time as friends with benefits. This would last until late the next spring. To be continued...

Always- LSG

Was it Love or All a Lie?

Last fall a close guy friend,we'll call Zac, of mine and I decided to start dating. We had known each other for awhile and had been spending a lot of time together. We started to grow feelings for eachother. We only dated for like five weeks, but those weeks were the best five weeks ever with a guy. We did everything together and spent all our time together. He treated me like no other guy had treated me. I said I love you. He said I love you. We even began to make plans for the future. Things were moving so fast, but for some reason it felt right. Not to mention it was some of the best sex of my life. We seemed to just fit so perfect.

Then one night we had plans together. I hadn't seen him in a couple of days because I had been really busy with school. He said he couldn't hang out because he had to do a favour for a friend. I was little perturbed.
Later that night I texted him to apologize for being short with him, but he never answered. He didn't talk to me for a couple of days and continued to ignore me. I wasn't going to put up with this. What was his problem? I didn't deserve to be treated like this so I went to his house and got my stuff. He was asleep in his bed when I got there. I gathered my things and asked him why he was doing this. He said he needed space. Well then he should have told me that instead of ignoring me.

I left angry, upset, hurt, and every other feeling that was possible. He said we would discuss it later. Days went by and he still wouldn't talk. I just wanted to know was it over or not? He couldn't give me a straight answer. After about a week and half of this he told me he didn't have room in his life for a girlfriend and again that he needed space.

The problem is, not a week later, his ex-girlfriend moved into his house. WTF? How could he get space with her living in his room. He shared a house with three other guys. The place was full.

I assume that he didn't need space, but that he just didn't want me and didn't want to tell me that. I don't get why he would treat a person like this. He told me he loved me and he promised me the world. I know people break up, but if you love someone you should at least have the decentsy to give them a proper break up instead of just ignoring them. I don't know if he really loved me or not. He says he did, but I don't know that I believe that. You don't treat people you love like that. I would have been a lot better with a real break up. I deserve that.

I tell myself that I never loved him and that it was all a lie. I don't understand though what was the point. He just kept me around until he got his ex back??

I am already a cynic. But this just made it worse. I have been burned before but this was the worst time ever. I felt even more that love wasn't real, because love doesn't ignore and throw you away. Love gives you a respectable breakup.

We are still friends with the same people and I see Zac ocasionally. Pretty much we pretend that eachother don't exist. We don't even look at eachother. He knows I want nothing to do with him and for some reason he actually respects that. His ex still lives with him and thats all I know about that. I am better off though. Apparently he tells all his girlfriends that he loves them and that he wants to marry them. I was just another name on a list.

I think the reason I was so into the whole idea of US and the things he was telling me about our future is because of the world around me. Everyone else was hooking up or getting married and I felt like I was being left behind. I was (and am) the last single girl. I clung to this. I grabbed on tight. I guess I hoped he would save me from singledom or something.
I have grown stronger since then and grown more into my state of singleness. I will never let another man do to my heart what Zac did to mine. When I see him I still feel that pain inside. He hurt me. He lied to me. He ignored. He disrespected me. No girl deserves this. We have to be strong and see past the facade of love, when if fact it is only a facade.

Always- LSG

First Post of the Last Single

Do you ever feel like you are the last single person in the world??
Now don't get me wrong. I love being single and have a current fear of marriage, but I feel like the whole planet is paired up and looking at me, waiting and watching. What will she do next? Will she ever find someone? Why don't you have a boyfriend?
It gets old fast. I may be only twenty-three and to many people that is a perfect age to be single, and I agree; it is. The problem is everyone around me. Everyone around me is in a long term relationship, or engaged, or married. Out of my best girlfriends, I am the only single one.
And then there is all the trying to find me someone. Everyone knows someone that would be perfect for me. They recomend a guy at their work. Or my cousin's best friend. I really don't need their help. If I really wanted a boyfriend, then I would probably go get one. I am just not interested enough. I am content knowing that I only answer to me and that all my time is for me. It's great actually. I just want to find others like me who can accept the single woman.