Was it Love or All a Lie?

Last fall a close guy friend,we'll call Zac, of mine and I decided to start dating. We had known each other for awhile and had been spending a lot of time together. We started to grow feelings for eachother. We only dated for like five weeks, but those weeks were the best five weeks ever with a guy. We did everything together and spent all our time together. He treated me like no other guy had treated me. I said I love you. He said I love you. We even began to make plans for the future. Things were moving so fast, but for some reason it felt right. Not to mention it was some of the best sex of my life. We seemed to just fit so perfect.

Then one night we had plans together. I hadn't seen him in a couple of days because I had been really busy with school. He said he couldn't hang out because he had to do a favour for a friend. I was little perturbed.
Later that night I texted him to apologize for being short with him, but he never answered. He didn't talk to me for a couple of days and continued to ignore me. I wasn't going to put up with this. What was his problem? I didn't deserve to be treated like this so I went to his house and got my stuff. He was asleep in his bed when I got there. I gathered my things and asked him why he was doing this. He said he needed space. Well then he should have told me that instead of ignoring me.

I left angry, upset, hurt, and every other feeling that was possible. He said we would discuss it later. Days went by and he still wouldn't talk. I just wanted to know was it over or not? He couldn't give me a straight answer. After about a week and half of this he told me he didn't have room in his life for a girlfriend and again that he needed space.

The problem is, not a week later, his ex-girlfriend moved into his house. WTF? How could he get space with her living in his room. He shared a house with three other guys. The place was full.

I assume that he didn't need space, but that he just didn't want me and didn't want to tell me that. I don't get why he would treat a person like this. He told me he loved me and he promised me the world. I know people break up, but if you love someone you should at least have the decentsy to give them a proper break up instead of just ignoring them. I don't know if he really loved me or not. He says he did, but I don't know that I believe that. You don't treat people you love like that. I would have been a lot better with a real break up. I deserve that.

I tell myself that I never loved him and that it was all a lie. I don't understand though what was the point. He just kept me around until he got his ex back??

I am already a cynic. But this just made it worse. I have been burned before but this was the worst time ever. I felt even more that love wasn't real, because love doesn't ignore and throw you away. Love gives you a respectable breakup.

We are still friends with the same people and I see Zac ocasionally. Pretty much we pretend that eachother don't exist. We don't even look at eachother. He knows I want nothing to do with him and for some reason he actually respects that. His ex still lives with him and thats all I know about that. I am better off though. Apparently he tells all his girlfriends that he loves them and that he wants to marry them. I was just another name on a list.

I think the reason I was so into the whole idea of US and the things he was telling me about our future is because of the world around me. Everyone else was hooking up or getting married and I felt like I was being left behind. I was (and am) the last single girl. I clung to this. I grabbed on tight. I guess I hoped he would save me from singledom or something.
I have grown stronger since then and grown more into my state of singleness. I will never let another man do to my heart what Zac did to mine. When I see him I still feel that pain inside. He hurt me. He lied to me. He ignored. He disrespected me. No girl deserves this. We have to be strong and see past the facade of love, when if fact it is only a facade.

Always- LSG