Bingo Night

Bingo Night is on Wednesdays at my favourite bar. I try to go as often as possible. Last nite I went with Sara, her husband, my best friend, and some other people from Sara and her husband's group. They are the only ones married in the group.

On my way to the bar I get a text from John asking me what I have been up to. I decide to ignore it. Like an hour later he texts me again asking me if I am mad at him. Now this does make me mad. He ignores my texts all the time and I don't say a thing. I just go on. I ignore his text one time and he thinks I am mad at him. I tell him no, that I am just at the bar.

He asks me what my plans are for the nite. I say bingo.
John- 'did you want to fuck tonight?'
Me- 'i dunno'
John- 'you don't know. what are you on the rag?'
I am thinking this might be a good excuse but say
Me- 'no just not in the mood'
John- 'that's cool if you change your mind or want to some other time'
Me- 'ok'
John- 'my big hard throbbing cock will be waiting for you'
He begins to get desperate and starts saying he will do things he never does.
I don't believe him, but continue to entertain him knowing that I won't be seeing him.

So enough about John. In an old post I talked about hanging out at Sara's and a guy in her group that I have always had a crush on. He was at bingo last night and I sat by him. After bingo we all went back to his house to watch a movie. On the couch he had his arm around me. After one of our many smoke breaks, he grabs my hand, leads me inside, and tells me he is ready for bed. I go to his room with him. We start talking and then he kisses me. We start making out. When he goes to take my shirt off, I tell him that I am not having sex with him.

He wants to have sex, but I tell him that I am not that easy. I won't just give it up on the first nite. I tell him if he wants to have sex with me that he has to work for it. Then I tell him that I like him. If I didn't like him I would have sex with him. I tell him that I have actually have a crush on him for awhile, but he always had a girlfriend. He is like, 'so you've been digging me for awhile. well I have been digging you for awhile.' I am like no you haven't. You were with T. He tells me that even when he was with her that he was digging me. He then asks if the whole T. thing makes me feel weird. I am like no, why would I care. Then he says well I am not with her anymore. I am with you now.

We make out and cuddle all night. It was very nice. He was very respectful. In the morning I ask him if he wants to hang out again. He says 'well we will have to.' He also realizes that we have been sharing the same pillow all nite. He tells me he will have to get another pillow if I am going to be spending the night. When I go to leave he tells me that we will hang out this weekend. Then I realize he never got my number. But I think if he actually likes me then he can get a hold of me. He could get my number from Sara or he could Facebook friend me. My phone number is on my facebook. I am sure I will see him again too because of our mutual friends. I tell myself that if he wants to talk to me then he will. If he wants to see me then he will.

Plus- I have talked to Sara about all this, and she is totally cool with it.

Always- LSG

Now What?

Guy Friend... I don't know what to say. He kind of blew me off this weekend. (I guess you're right Mark) At least we weren't dating. But for him to blow me off when he wants to date me seems to me a sign that we shouldn't date. And just when I was thinking he might be different and that we might could casually start dating. I figured he would be different b/c he has watched the way other guys had treated me. He didn't like it. I figured he would know better, especially since he told me he liked me and wanted to date me. When John and I were dating, last summer, he saw John ignore me and not ever make plans with me. I broke up with John. He watched Zac ignore me for two days; then I gave up and went to Zac's house to get my stuff. He should know better.

Last week we talked about hanging out this weekend. Friday night he ignored my texts. I figured he would at least respond Saturday, unless he was at work. Come to find out he didn't have to work and hung out with his friends all day. Said he would call me after frisbee golf. Three hours later he asks what we should do. I suggest going to the bar with his friends. He was hanging out with a couple. The four of us actually all hung out last weekend. He said they wanted to go swimming. I told him I didn't have a swimsuit. He said he would call me after swimming and we can hang out.

Then I got drunk.

I drunk texted him- 'am i gonna see you tonite b.c i am drunk and think we should make out.'
he told me he was going home and maybe tomorrow. I said Maybe. Then he asked if I was mad at him and of course I told him that I wasn't, that I was just drunk. By this time I was at a party with some girlfriends. We continued to text eachother for awhile. This was normal texting like we always do. Like we are best friends. Which we are. A little confused after all this. I would have been excited if the guy I liked drunk texted me to make out.

He didn't call Sunday, when he said we would hang out. I didn't talk to him Sunday or Monday. Decided to text him today. Asking him how was work and stuff. He responded. When I asked when we gonna hang out he stopped texting. I left him alone.

Either I am crazy and paranoid or he has changed his mind. Probably both. My friends are telling me to chill out. The thing is is that this is why I am always single. This is why I don't date. I hate this whole 'is he gonna call?', 'am I supposed to call?', 'why doesnt he want to see me?' I can't stand this whole thing. It all feels like game play or something. This is when I give up and continue being single. This all makes me so crazy. Maybe with the right guy I won't feel this way.