Now What?

Guy Friend... I don't know what to say. He kind of blew me off this weekend. (I guess you're right Mark) At least we weren't dating. But for him to blow me off when he wants to date me seems to me a sign that we shouldn't date. And just when I was thinking he might be different and that we might could casually start dating. I figured he would be different b/c he has watched the way other guys had treated me. He didn't like it. I figured he would know better, especially since he told me he liked me and wanted to date me. When John and I were dating, last summer, he saw John ignore me and not ever make plans with me. I broke up with John. He watched Zac ignore me for two days; then I gave up and went to Zac's house to get my stuff. He should know better.

Last week we talked about hanging out this weekend. Friday night he ignored my texts. I figured he would at least respond Saturday, unless he was at work. Come to find out he didn't have to work and hung out with his friends all day. Said he would call me after frisbee golf. Three hours later he asks what we should do. I suggest going to the bar with his friends. He was hanging out with a couple. The four of us actually all hung out last weekend. He said they wanted to go swimming. I told him I didn't have a swimsuit. He said he would call me after swimming and we can hang out.

Then I got drunk.

I drunk texted him- 'am i gonna see you tonite b.c i am drunk and think we should make out.'
he told me he was going home and maybe tomorrow. I said Maybe. Then he asked if I was mad at him and of course I told him that I wasn't, that I was just drunk. By this time I was at a party with some girlfriends. We continued to text eachother for awhile. This was normal texting like we always do. Like we are best friends. Which we are. A little confused after all this. I would have been excited if the guy I liked drunk texted me to make out.

He didn't call Sunday, when he said we would hang out. I didn't talk to him Sunday or Monday. Decided to text him today. Asking him how was work and stuff. He responded. When I asked when we gonna hang out he stopped texting. I left him alone.

Either I am crazy and paranoid or he has changed his mind. Probably both. My friends are telling me to chill out. The thing is is that this is why I am always single. This is why I don't date. I hate this whole 'is he gonna call?', 'am I supposed to call?', 'why doesnt he want to see me?' I can't stand this whole thing. It all feels like game play or something. This is when I give up and continue being single. This all makes me so crazy. Maybe with the right guy I won't feel this way.